ALL I NEED IS YOU.

Hello guys. What's up? So, I met this guy who was from the express stream and then dropped to normal academic as his Math was super bad and then ends up in ITE. Woah, and then he is like " study hard yeah, don't become like me. " Haha. Yeah, I will listen to you luuuuh, haiya. :D So anyways, that was a wake up call (: Thanks for the advice yeah, if you're reading this, which I don't think you will cause you don't know my blog URL. LOL. I don't even think you know that I have a freaking blog!

Umm, 3 days straight life went so fuckish. Haha, with Awi always being on my nerves. I don't freaking know what the hell is wrong with us anymore. I don't think anyone will read this blog so I just wanna let it out. So yeah, I have no freaking idea on how to talk about this with Awi. Haish. Nothing goes right anymore. I don't even know what's the problem.

Yeah, see you're my guy, and I'm just trying to take us back to the way it used to be. It was all good just a week ago but now I'm starting to see a little bit of change. Hear me out. It don't take much for me to make you mad, baby. And lately, boy, it seems like I've been driving you crazy. Tell me, how we got this way? There's just so much that I can take. It feels like we got to make a change! Oh boy, I know I did you wrong in the past. Baby, I thought we moved on and let it go. But I guess I was wrong, & I'm trying to be strong. But it's breaking my heart!

Can we go back to how we used to be? Let's work it out 'cause I don't want to leave! It's driving me crazy, I'm missing my baby! Can you tell me what's changed? Can we go back to how we used to be? Bby, it seems like you want to turn your back on me.

It's like the situation's going from bad to worse. And now it seems like everything I do is just ain't good enough. Hey, I do my best to make it work. But you know we can't keep going on this way, bby. You know that things just aren't getting better, but baby, we've got to make it right. Boy, I ain't even sure if we'll ever get back to the way we were. And I'm not going to play like everything's alright. We've just been through too much to let it go. Baby, I just want to know if we can try to work this out. I don't want to lose you, ♥precious.

- Ida Juliet.

HALO GUYS! OK, GONNA TALK ABOUT MENDAKI ♥

So, woke up at 7.45am. With half-opened eyes, I went to the toilet and took a hoooot bath. Hehe, nice sia * winkwink * xD Lollies, so then changed clothes. Ate jemputyjemputy, xD, then off I went to CHANGKAT CHANGI SECONDARY SCHOOL.

When arrived there, sat there and waited till they ask us to assemble. Then when assemble, guess what! There was no Sec 2 Express class sia! Wahlao, I was like pissed off. Then the supercisor ask us to go JUNYUAN SECONDARY SCHOOL to transfer me there. Wahlaaaaaaaaaaao.

So, took a taxi there. When reached, OM of the school asked to go to the class. When reached the class, the teacher asked to go register first. So, went down to the office, sat one corner then mummy do everything, I sit there do nothing :D Hahahaha, then the head of tutor asked me to go the class and take the test. But it was like 10.15 already so, I did another test. While they were doing comprehension, I did essay :D Hehehehe! Easy :D Whee ♥ Then I only had 20 mins >< Hahaha, after that.. Oh yeah! I forgot to say how happy I was to see RASHIDAH & FAIZ! OMG, at least have friends :DD Heheheheheh! I loike ♥

So, when break time, went to canteen with Rashidah ♥! Met me mummy sitting there, hehe, drank her nescafe, xD Then proceeded to class back to take math test. Fuhyo, how hard it was! & Guess what? Faiz didn't do the last question, xDDDD The last question was super hard ok! And you know what I write at the end, after skipping 5-6 questions? I wrote : " Sorry, I'm super weak in Sec 1 Math. I promise to do better! " on the last page of the paper. xDDD Haha, true sia ):

Then after it all, went home with mummy and Rashidah ♥ Hehehehhee! Oh yeah, overall, I love Mendaki at JUNYAN ♥ Haha, cause have friends already mahhhhh, hehehe. Oh and, the teachers are cute ^^ I mean, like, kind and stuffs :D My english teacher is Ms Melati ♥ Which is super cute. And my math teacher is Mr Yusuf :D Oh and Mr Yusuf is like Mat-ish. But end up being a tutor. Kekek pe. Hahahah! So rare to find a math malay guy teacher who is a mat. HAHAHAHA!

Okay, that's about it ♥

- Ida Juliet ♥

My best friend texted me, he asked if I looked nice right now. I told him no, and he said to get ready so I look good, not to him, but to myself. Only text him back If I felt happy with how I looked. This confused me but I didn't ask questions. I just got ready, and finally after an hour or two, I told him I felt happy with how I looked, sort of. The door rang about 10 minutes later, and my friends told me to come with them to the park. This confused me but I didn't ask questions, I was bored anyways. We walked to the park, it wasn't that far, and they said to sit on the swing set. I didn't really like the swings at this park because it was the very place my first love broke up with me & shattered my heart. Just sitting on the swing hurt a bit, I went into silence at the memories. Suddenly, I was blindfolded. When my friends took it off, there he was. The boy who told me to get ready, I liked this boy, he was my best friend. He handed me a rose and got down on his knee. "I know this is one of your least favorite places. I also know you stopped believing in love after 2 shots to the chest. And you don't like change. But this is good change, I think. I want to change this swingset from the place where you closed your door to love to the place where it just began. I've sat by & watched you get hurt long enough. You're beautiful, smart, talented, sweet, funny. And impatient. So, I won't drag this out. I love you, & I'd like to be your boyfriend...Will you go out with me?" This boy was my 3rd love, he made me feel special. It's been 5 long years, & just today, he said those exact words. To propose.

Sweet or what sia! (': I cried.

Gossssh, tmr starts my Mendaki tuition! Oh em gee. I'm so gonna try to be hyper to make friends! AHHH, hahaha. OMG, please, make someone fall in friends with me xD Hahaha, please please please. I don't wanna be a loner at break time, Nadhirah! AHHHHH, OMG, I'm so freaking stressed out! Haha. Then there'll be a test, ohmyGod. Geeeee, I'm sooo gonna go the last class of the Express stream in Mendaki! Hhaha, unless they test this year's first topic of Math. Haha, I have got the hang of it already.

Wow, I get hyper when I'm emo, at blog. FUUH, I love myself manx. Haha, okay, seriously. So, today nothing much happened, but it was fun though :DDD I wanna go to fitness corner again again again! Hahaha, so yeah. BITCH. Ok, Dayah, stop saying so yeah. GRRR. So yeah, hahahaha. Ok lame. Hmmm, yeah, the bitch ):

GET OVER IT DAYAH. Oh, bby, if you're reading this, which you 99% won't cause you won't bother xD, I would like to say that, umm, for our 10th monthsary, I won't be giving you anything. Until the 12th monthsary, aka, 1 year anniversary. I really hope we'll last that long 'cause I have already bought the gift. So yeah, :D And and, if you behave good, xD, I'd think of something to give you for 10th & 11th monthsary (: So yeah :DDDD

Okay, I'm so excited for tomorrow! Gosh. But I have a feeling it won't be a blast anyway ): Cause I have a feeling I won't be hyped up. And when I'm not hyped up, I won't be able to say nonsense things. And if I don't do that, I won't make friends. No friends = loner. Loner = emo. Emo = Don't study. Don't study = fail. Fail = mum scold. Mum scold = No laptop. No laptop = no internet. No internet = no facebook. No facebook = boredom. Boredom = dead. HAHA. K, peace.

- Ida Juliet.
It's the simple things that you do really hurts my feelings.

GUYS THESE DAYS HAVE ATTITUDES LIKE SHIT.

Hahahaha, wheeeeee. OH YEAH, I got super good news man! Rizal tk jadi pergi, hehehehe! But maybe next month then go. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Hahaha!

Okay I don't know what to say. So yeah. PEACE.

Ida Juliet.
- Oh yeah, I need a photgrapher to take a picture of me and awi <3 Hehe. Anyone?

HELLOWELLO. Today is a Saturday. And it's boring. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am supah bored. Hmmmmmmm, Erni's coming home tonight. Haha, like my adek like that. Hahahah! Okay lame dayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Ohkay, so I can't get over yesterday's thing. Whatthe.

Oh yeah, Rizal called. He's gonna leave next week D: Sad right ): No more mr nice guy ): Haha, dayah, lame. Maybe tomorrow, gonna drop by his house with my mum. Gosh, gonna miss him. Oh, he said he'll be moving to Switzerland, Zurich. Wah, nak ikot! ): So far lehhhhh! Ohmygod. I'm sooo hoping that he's not going! His family and him going leh! I also dont know why go there one sia. My parents don't want to tell me ): Then when I asked Rizal, he say he don't know. Tipu sia. ): DAHH, tkmo miss him.

And so, this is for my beloved hubby :
When everything seems to be unfair, when all that you do is not appreciated, I'll take your hand, wipe away your tears, take you for a walk and remind you how special you are. Really, I will!
Sorry for yesterday. I hate having feelings y'know. It sucks, especially if you are me. Cause my moodswings, FUHYO. Haha, seriously. One moment of time, you see me laughing, then another moment, you see me crying my heart out. [ Reminds me of the song Don't you cry your heart out by Cody Simpson \m/ ] Hahaha. So yeah, being me is so fucked up. Anyways, thanks for trying your best to understand me, dear. Although I don't think anyone will EVER understand me. Even I don't. Hais ): Sad right, I know. Oh and guess what, I took the 'How high is the level of your jealousy' and guess how much I got! 98% jealous! Fuuh, I totally agree manx. Even the machine knows that I'm supah jealous, manx! FUHHYOOOOOOO. I was like ' wow, man, wow ' It's like supah true. Haha, know why know why? Come closer.. * CANNOT TELL! * HAHA. Ok, lame dayah.

Sooooo, I have nothing more to say. But I will try to talk about things. I hope that 2011 will be a great year for me. Please, no more shits. Please, no more arguments, fights, quarrels, whatsoever. Please, no more tears. Please, no more of me trying to fake a smile. Please, no more of me trying to hide the pain inside. Please, I just wanna be me. So yeah, if I'm mad, I'm gonna show it. If I'm sad, I'm gonna tear up. If I'm happy, I'm gonna laugh. If I'm angry, I'm gonna yell. I wanna do that. Really, I don't want to have to fake everything. I'm gonna show everyone what I'm made of! Yeah. That's my new year resolution. Oh yeah, I really wanna study hard. Please, don't make me lose my confidence. I wanna study. Really. I wanna top the class, the level, the school. Whatever it is, I'm gonna take risks. I'm so gonna try my best. No one's gonna bring me down!

Okay, that was too much for 'try to talk about things'. Haha! Ohkay, I really don't know what else to say. Oh, that bitch. Just shut up okay. I was so happily chatting with the cute little kid about my hubby<3 when she came and destroyed all of it. Jealous much. Here's the conversation, B - Bitch. M - Me.

B : Hey.
M : Halo? Haha [ I thought she suddenly random say 'hey' to me ]
B : Ni cousin diyerh, * name >< *
M : Oh, hello.
B : You att?
M : Yupp, you? (:
B : Yeah. You and him still together?
M : Yeah, duh.
B : Brape months?
M : 9 months (: Cool kan?
B : Boleh la.
M : What do you mean?
B : He's not worth it la.
M : Whatthe?
B : Tkkn kau nak ITE nye budak.
M : Woah, why? How you know about him? And anyway, insulting ITE people per?
B : Tadi kau bebual ngan cousin aku, aku tgk ah. Tk insult ah. Kesiankan kau je. Lagipun, susah nk meet up. So, confirm korang tk last.
M : Haha, kesian? Tkya kesiankan aku luh k. Kau sape nk ckp ni sume. Last ke tak, tkde kene mengene ngan kau pe.
B : Lantak kau ah. Aku bagi nasihat je.
M : Oh, nasihat ye? Kau jage matey kau pun baek. Tkmo jage tepi kain orang.
B : Sial, aku cume ckp je sia.
M : Tsk3, maki2 yer? Tk baek tau.. Ish.
B : Tkmo step alim ah. Aku cume nk ingatkan kau je, tkmo terlalu sygkan matey kau, nanti kalau diyerh gi, kau yang hancur.
M : Haha, okay luh, kalau tu nasihat, aku terima. Beh kau, jangan sebok jage tepi kaen orang uh k. Matey kau gi jage dulu. Nanti kau yang hancur.
B : Nabei.
M : Awwwh (:

Like fuck luh sia. Mood teros hilang. Geram pe. Tk suke, dok diam2 pun baek sia.

- Ida Juliet.

Just once. I wanna be me. I don't know what is going on with myself. I think my brain and heart is discussing. While, I, have no freaking idea about anything. 2011 is just gonna be the same as 2010. Nothing much will change. But please. I just want a few things. No heartbreaks, no empty promises and no more fake smiles. Please. But there's already heartbreaks.

Whatthefuck. I don't know how to express my feelings. Maybe it's cause I don't want people to know about it. 'Cause if they do, they pick up a fight. So yeah, I'd rather stay silent. Have you ever heard or seen something you really didn’t want to hear or see, then your heart just drops and you get a huge knot in your throat because it feels like you’re about to burst out crying? 'Cause I have. And I think everyone has too.

Oh, I hate today okay. So effing miserable today. Oh, and when you know that a girl isn't alright, don't ask. 'Cause you'll only get a fake answer. 'Cause she'll say she's fine, even though she's not. She's pissed off. Obviously. Especially if you're the only one she is ignoring. She's just not admitting it as you're just not doing anything about it. So, what the fuckk is the point of telling you. So, that's girls. Guys? SO STRAIGHT FORWARD.

The only two places where I feel absolutely safe are either in bed, with fresh new sheets and pillows surrounding my head or in the water, like on the bottom of a swimming pool. Alone. Weightless. Peaceful. Nobody talking. Nobody pretending. Those are the only two places. Everywhere else, I get smacked in the face with arrogance, ignorance, shallowness and shit. They knock me down and leave me bleeding on the floor. I'm sick and tired of this shit. I just think that like, one day we should all just either shut the hell up or say everything that crosses our mind. So the world can either be a silent one or a chaotic one. Because I’m sick of the in-between one.

Have you ever been angry or sad, to the point where you just break down at home, in your room? Your parents don’t know because you keep the tears to yourself, and you cry silently. Your friends don’t know because you talk as if you’re fine and dandy behind the computer screen. Well you’re not fine and dandy, and you know it. No one really knows how you feel, and they have their own lives to deal with, so you don’t bother telling them, you bottle it up, and store it with the other problems or troubles. I hate that feeling. The feeling when you’re sad, but you have no idea why. You just are. And in your mind, you’re thinking of all the bad things in your life and apply it to your emotions, making you even more sad. Then people ask you what’s wrong and you have nothing to say. You end up, sitting there, quiet, while it seems as if everyone, but you, is happy.

- justmeagaindownhere.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAH.

What a fuckish day. Hold back tears, put on a smile and laugh my heart out. Fun yeah. CCA day so fuckish. Don't belong anywhere. FUCK. Took ICC as 2nd CCA cause have photography plus extra CCA points and to busy myself.

JUST GONNA STAND HERE AND WATCH ME BURN, CAUSE IT'S ALRIGHT BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY IT HURTS.

I want someone who is proud to have me. Someone who treats me differently. Someone who will make me feel special. At this moment I just want to text you and tell you how much I miss you, and how much our conversations mean to me.

K. ANYTH, READ MY DIARY. HAHA, NO WAY. IM NOT GONNA GIVE ANY OF YOU GUYS. FUCKIT.

- penned,
thesucker.

As much as you hate seeing me talk to other boys, that is how much I hate seeing you talk to other girls. Be it in reality or cyber world. Because everytime you do that, it makes me feel like you're gonna replace me with any of them someday.

Haha, true right? I KNOW. Hahahs. Okay, so today.. I have no idea what to talk about. So yeah. Haha, oh yeah, about CCA.. I am gonna stick to Choir cause the guy mati2 tk nk kasi tukar. GRRR. Haha, but he let me and nad have another CCA. WTH.

I dont know what to talk about. Seriously. So, hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Nothing to say. So, byebye.

Ida Juliet.
I dont know what the eff is wrong with me. Hahahs.