I try to hide it, but I most definitely am the jealous type. I seriously want to slap everyone who tries to talk to my significant other in a flirty way. When you have someone great, you don’t want their grip to slip out of your hands. So you constantly worry and let it get to you. I know, being the jealous type sucks. But now I try to understand. And yes, I control myself. I know that sometimes the girls aren't at fault.

Every girl needs a man. You know, the kind that’ll treat you right. The kind that has enough respect for you & is willing to change, just to be with you. The kind that searches for you with all his heart & that can be trusted in a room full of beautiful girls. Every girl needs a man who won’t cheat on her because he knows she’s got all that he wants & needs already. He won’t mind calling you early in the morning just to say good morning or late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning song & tell you a bedtime story or talk to you until you fall asleep. This guy will be the kind that’ll do anything for you, even if it’s to just go to the store & buy you your favorite kind of candy. He would defend & fight for you & wouldn’t bail on you for his friends when you need him most. The kind that won’t leave you lonely & wondering; the one that calls you surprisingly, even if he’s out with his friend, to just tell you that he loves & misses you a lot. The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around & tell them, “She’s the one”. The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little. The ones that actually thank you for the little love notes you leave him, waits for you when you’re falling behind, & opens doors for you. Every girl needs a man who will take you out on dates once in awhile & buys you flowers just because it’s a Wednesday. The kind of guy that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him. He would remind you that he loves you & that he’s happy to be with you, just in case you forget. The kind that just doesn’t want kisses & hugs, but to actually be loved & to love. You deserve a guy that will call you beautiful instead of hot, who kisses your forehead when you’re down, tells you to be strong & to not cry, & when you do cry, he’d cry with you when times are hard. The kind that will go through thick & thin with & for you. The kind that just loves you for who you are & not for who you aren’t and loves you because you’re his favorite girl in the whole wide world. The only one that he needs to survive.

Yeah, I like that, alot. It's super true. /: But there's just no guy on Earth that's like that. But someone once asked me, why do girls keep saying that guys are all the same. It's true. Look around you. They can be cute, funny and loving to you at this young age. But look at the couples who are already married. What do you see? Not even as close as holding hands. Not even talking. Maybe they're a few who would not be like that. But accept the fact, guys are all the same.

I just made this up when I was listening to songs in the school & was freaking emo-ing. /: When you listen to a song, & then you find it interesting, you make the effort to find the lyrics or maybe just try to figure out the lyrics yourselves. And then you keep hearing it and memorising the lyrics and then you get used to the song. And then, when you're bored of it, you don't listen to it frequently anymore. And then, one fine day, you totally get tired of it and stop listening to it. Then comes one day, someone plays the song on & you just have a thing for it, your memories. You start listening to it again.

That's how a guy treats a girl. When they find a girl interesting, they make the effort to find more about them or they try making friends with them. And then, they hang out with the girl alot. They manage to capture all their attention and make the girl fall in love with them. Then, when the girl keeps hanging out with them, they get bored. They don't hang out with the girl frequently anymore. One day, they stop contacting at all. Then, the girl walks past. They start to hang out with her again.

It's kinda true to me, as I made it. But I don't believe the last part. /: So, I have nothing else to say. Just FML and yeah.

I miss us. I miss hanging out together. But I know you just don't feel it. I don't want to be desperate. I'm not. But there's just something about you that's not there anymore.

Thanks Rizal for cheering me up on the phone. I'm so gonna miss you like big shit when you leave to migrate /: