Hiiiii, I'm typing this is wordpad while waiting for blogger to stop merajuk-ing with me. I'm sorry I've abandoned you for such a long time but you don't have to do this to me ): I need you in my life. I took you for granted, I'm soryy, Blogger. I love you! ): Pleasepleaseplease be alright. But once you guys read this on my blog, it means that me and Blogger are okay by then. *I won't time with Tumblr anymore, Blogger. Or Facebook* I love you, and only you, Blogger! Okay diam.

So, I thought I wanted to make a very last post for the guy whom I thought was the one for me. Well, it turned out that we aren't made for each other. So, I guess I just have to accept the fact that he isn't the one. And he moved on. And that I have to stop blaming myself or him for the break up. What's done, can't be undone. I have to leave this behind and move on to the future. He's my past. And someone out there would be my future. I figured that out. Well, I'm not gonna be the girl who regrets loving someone so deeply. Well, the relationship was worth it. We had our ups and downs. It was great. But well, every great and wonderful things comes to an end. I'm not even mad anymore, that you moved on. I understand that life has to go on. Even though you promised to stay. But feelings change. I got to accept the fact. If she makes you happy, I'm happy for you.

Here it goes, to the guy whom once was the most important person in my life. I didn't realise it at that time. I can't forgive myself for the way I treated you, so, I don't really expect you to, either. It's just that.. I don't even know. You were the one that I wanted, the one that I needed, the one that I just got to have just to succeed. When I first saw you, I knew it was real. I'm sorry bout the pain that I made you feel, to have to go through my moodswings and stuffs. I may not realise that I have hurt you, but I'm really sorry if I did. I remember when I first looked into your eyes, it was like I was there, heaven in the skies. You told me we were crazy in love but you weren't there when push came to shove. If you loved me as much as you said you did, then you wouldn't have hurt me like I ain't shit. Now you push me away like you never even knew me. I loved you with my heart, really and truly. I guess you forgot all the times that we shared, when I would run my fingers through your hair. I don't know how I could do you so wrong. You were the number one in my heart but now I got to accept the fact that our love's torn apart. You were my everything and I really miss you. I'm not hoping to get back with you, just at least don't treat me like I'm a stranger to you. I know you're gonna sit and play this with your new girl, and then sit and laugh as you're holding her hand. The thought of that once shattered my heart. It breaks in my soul and tears it apart, 'cause I never really wanted to let go. But now, I'm fine with it.

Yes, without you, everything seems so strange. Your name is forever planted in my brain. What about the time when you looked into my eyes, told me you loved me as you would hug me. I guess everything you said was just a lie. I could feel you change nearing the end of the relationship. I guess it was because of her. I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes as now I'm not a single thought in your mind. I can see clearly, my love is not blind. I had a special feeling for you, I thought you had it too. But no matter what, you'll always be in my heart. 'Cause my heart is stubborn to not erase your name. But that doesn't mean you mean what you meant to me when we were together. I remember all the times that I had with you. When we broke up, I couldn't take all the pain that I feel. I don't want to hear that you no longer care. Now I'm nothing to you, you're with another girl.

I do miss you. I just thought we were meant to be. I guess now, we'll never know. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. Whether it be with me or without me. I just want you to be happy. And dear new girlfriend, treat him okay, he always acts tough around his friends, but it's just an act. Laugh at his jokes, even when they're not funny. It makes him happy. Never be the one to let go of his hugs first, it puts a huge smile on his face. Please treat him nice. Never let your moodswings get in the way. 'Cause mine always did. And I think it made him feel bored with me. Okay, that's all.

When someone walks out of my life, I let them. I find that there is no use in wasting my time on people that leaves me. What I make of myself and my future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, I may miss them but I then remember that, it wasn't me who gave up. They did. As much as I wanted everything to work out nicely, he was negative on our relationship. Well, it's time for me to move on. Yeah, I got over you. Yes, now I'm much more stronger. At last I get to pour out what has been in my heart. And if you guys want to know why I felt like crying during the exam, I was thinking about this. You guys were happy for me that I had broken up with the guy whom you guys think is a jerk. But no one really asked me how I felt. But it doesn't matter now (: I'm fine.

Oh yes, I fell for another guy. The guy who was there for me when I was at my lowest. You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you. He is none other than Ridhuan Marley, who is my bestfriend. He listens to me. Well, we are more than just friends. But less than lovers. I love the way the relationship is. There is no awkwardness, as we treat each other as bestfriends and joke around each other. But when I need someone to listen, he acts like my boyfriend and comfort me. I just love him for who he is. Thanks for being there for me, Ridhuan. I love you. And I'm lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend. Yes, I may talk about my ex, but he doesn't matter now, anymore. I've got you. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I promise to treat you right.

Okay guys, that's all I want to post. *I'm still typing this in wordpad, guys* Toooot, let me try to post this on Blogger. Gosh, it's still currently unavailable ):< I hate you. GRRRRRRRRR. Okay. Then this means that I have to post this tomorrow. Pfffffft. Take care guys, gays, lesbians, fuckers, dickheads, bitches. Haha. Kbye

- I got the magic in me. K sumpah mepek.