heyheyhey, umm, promised Ayang that i would update today. so here it goes. haha, umm, started off badly, cause was on bad terms with Ayang ): you walked past and didnt even look back at me ): i was like.. omg. shocked. haish. but its okay.

so umm, the rest of the day is okay, had photoshoot. red shirt. haha i love that shirt so much! :D i cant wait to wear the purple shirt xD hahaha, ahh idk what to post about sehh.

wanna write formally. Like this. With capital letters and full stops and stuffs. So let's begin.

I don’t know really why I’m writing this. Perhaps because I suffer so much in my loneliness and boredom, that I just have to do something, to write about what i feel, to make a confession, that will bring me at least temporary relief. I do realize that it’s absurd. Going through all this trouble to really express myself, just for couple of people, who will read this and write some comforting words, that I’ve heard countless times. And nobody in his right mind will be patient enough to read all my lengthy post anyway.

I know, you don't see me as a lonely person. That's because I have friends around me. But they just ditch me out. I have only two real friends. I think. In Tampines Secondary, only two. >.< Who do you think you are? The separator? Oh come on! I have her only. Go to your other chinese friends luh. Why come to us? But it's okay if you want to take my only friend away cause, that is your objective. To make me feel left out, to ditch me. Why? I dont know why you're doing this to me. What did I ever do to you?

Oh my God, I hope I can survive the days that I will spend with you, without you knowing that I know what you're doing to me. It's okay. It's alright. It's fine.

I just need a reason, why? Please, what have I ever done wrong?

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ not lengthy post uh ]
ps, lazy to post longlong. should be asleep now. shh.

APIT APIT APIT! woots! haahha, great (: * melts hearing his voice when singing * hahahha. kehadiranmu (:

double click on the video to watch in on youtube, cause my blog cant stop the song xD

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ apiiiit! ]
ps, hahaha. i love theodore more xD
psps, i love my honey most (:

If not for you, I wouldn't know what true love really meant,
I'd never feel this inner peace, i'd never feel content,
If not for you. I'd never have the pleasures of romance,
I'd miss the bliss, the craziness of love's sweet, silly dance.

...I have to feel your tender touch,
I have to hear your voice,
No other one could take your place,
You're it I have no choice.

If not for you, i'd be adrift,
I wouldn't know what to do,
I'd be searching for my other half,
I'd be incomplete, if not for you.

- Sammii ♥

aww, sweet. i like it alot. nice poem. saw it on fb (: awwwww. okay that's the poem for today kay? (: yay.

okay im gonna check out videos to fit in the music vid. so im off, tata.

oh yeah, had a great day. my brother is the best (: i love you Abg! haha. you can talk to him about anything & everything sia! :D muah. expo was great (: && better still is when the lipas incident! haha. mepek.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ diydii's adeq forever (: ]
ps, i love my abang alot.

Thinking & Feeling. & if Feeling whispers yes, then it doesn't matter how loud Thinking tries to scream no. Feeling is a hundred thousand million times stronger.

yeah. thats right. i love this quote alot! muahh! haha lol. read it in a book. wondering whether people likes it.. i do! alot haha. wheee, haha. random.

ahh, im ready to go out! but my dad just came home leh. then he wanna sleep?? haha lol. i wished i had followed to the music project sehh ): haish, whattado kan.. hmms, sorry guys. umm, so, my dad asked " nk kelua ke nk order pizza je? " i said PIZZA! but then my mum kinda looked angry cause she waited all day to go out. then i said, " but it would be better if kiter kelua! " but inside " i dont wanna go out! i wanna stay at home ! " haha. but yeah, now all ready to go out.

left my dad to siap. so, yeah. wait... umm, okay, i think he's gonna be done soon, i hope. soo, tata yea. takecare you guys. especially nad, (: i hope your knee's fine already. sorry i didnt go to MP.. blame my dad. hahahaha. lol. im really sorry.

okay, umm i dont wanna off! ): but have to.. off to changi village. anything find me there luh (: haha rainrain still go changi. haish, dayah's family whut. haha lol. okay then gottago! byebye peeps.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ whee ]
ps, find me at changi whenever i emo haha.

dear, im sorry about yesterday night. i wasnt in my right self. i have thought things through. & i still love you. i dont want to lose you.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ i love you ]
ps, i really love you too. & i still am.

i wish we had another time, i wish we had another place. now we dont wanna fall but, we're tripping in our hearts and its reckless and clumsy.. but everything we have is stuck in the moment, and there's nothing my heart can do.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ idontknow ]
ps, i love you.

hey guys! im not quitting on blog luh nadh. haha lol. im just starting a diary & still continuing my blog (: i love blogger. dont worry blogger, i wont ever give up on you. you're the only place i can express my feelings, besides my new diary. haha, but you're faster. i love you more! xD haha lol. umm, so, i wanna tell ya about today luhhs. today, i mean yest, i mean morning today. hahaha lol. umm, slept at 2. woke up at 3. slept at 6, all the way to 9. panicked cause couldnt find my phone. hahah lol. found it alr (: i love my phone!

so umm, later going out to buy groceries. haha, umm, charging phone. sorry if i never reply you guys. umm, my lappie also gonna die soon.

umm, i wanna buy a hamster! im gonna take care of it, seriously. i love hamsters so much! they're so small & furry & cute sia. gotta save money. but now, im saving money to buy math assessment book first. maybe next month i start saving. but i think by the end of the year, im gonna buy one, if my mum & dad allows me to do so. i hope they do.

yeah, have to think about the hamster's name. haha, hammy! lols. idk.. last time, when i wanted to take care of a cat, i thought of naming it tiara or salt. haha lol. cute name? xD but now, i met a girl named tiara. and maybe, it might insult .. so, idk what to call it. hammy is quite cute though haha. what about, hamster? haha lol. okay, wont ponder about this matter. might waste my time. dontknow if my parents allow me to take care of a hamster yet.

ahhh, hating my internet slowness today. it sucks haha. maybe the touch of my mum.. hahahhaha, haish. umm, i wanna talk crap. i wanna make this post very long but i cant. my lappie's gonna die. )': i have left with 31 minutes ): but its okay, im gonna use the time (:

so, i actually have nothing to say. i just wanna talk crap. umm, yesterday cleared things out with nadh. so, i hope we can try to understand each other better. umm, nadh, dont tell anyone about the things we talked about yesterday hahahahha. it was funny yet scary. i hope the person wont do the things we had talked about. it's really scary. for a minute, i hoped we hadnt talked about it. it gives me the chills whenever i talk to the person. ahhh. hahaha lol.

umm, i dont think the person would do it luh. not brave enough. rightright? but the person is like a person of his/her words sia. & thats kinda scary. haha, but who cares. one of us will die. haha boleh who cares lagi eh. hahah lol. no luh, we will live long (: the person wouldnt dare.

yeah, scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary. okay done. umm left with.. let me check, what the heck? 51 mins? just now was 31 sia! wow. this lappie is really going crazy. haish. but i have to make it quick though, who knows, it might off by itself. self-destruct. haha lol. self-sleep xD okay shut up dayah. * shuts up *

ahh i cant help it! must talk xD umm, im gonna try to watch tv nowadays. haha, i kinda quitted on tv when i started being in sec 1. but it's better. but it's worst. haha addicted to laptop now. haish. umm, chatting with adley currently. but he has gone to cook. >.< haish, so late. cant he cook for me too? haha lol.

adley's friendly haha. although we had never talked before, i kinda felt that it was adley that i saw on that day during my bro's dance competition. & then the next day, i asked adley whether he had gone to yuhua cc ( the place where my bro danced ). he said he did. wow. had a strange feeling sia. it's cool. we never talked! ever. but yet, i felt it was him. >.< im strange.. hmmmmm. hahaha lol. so, its fun talking to him. idontknow why. but he always has something to say.. & never told me he was bored & always kept me un-bored. haha lol. okay, wont talk more about him. you should get to know him luh.

yay, im done talking about what i want to talk about. idontknow what else to say. oh yeah, rizal has been bugging me about the bbq party sia. he wants to come along lol. but he cant blueks! haha.

umm, i think i wanna charge so can use it longer :D wait uhhs. * charges my lappie * okay im back :D okay, its charging :D yay me! umm, ahhhhh i got to go buy groceries sia. ahhh, adley is so random. he says he stomach ache like gonna give birth haha. then i ask who's child. he said alien! ahhh then i said, you did that thing with an alien? then he cant stop laughing >.< haha lol okay done.

so, guys, umm, im going to the BBQ party yeah. umm, 18 june go buy the things aye? okay, i hope it will turn out great though nadh will not be attending it.. hmm, ama come right? nada? ahhhhhhhhhhh. idk. okay nevermind, byebye. gonna catch up on my sleep. slept for only 4 hours? gah. haha so, i'll have to sleep early today. maybe.. haha, okay takecare guys!

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ im yours ]
ps, never gonna tell a lie & hurt you.

umm, guys! hello :D haha, umm, idontknow what to post about uh, haha. so, i will try to think of things to say. ermm, i just dont like how things are starting to turn out the way they are not supposed to. holidays suck. i wanna go to school! i wanna study sia, idontknow why. rather than rot at home. lol, hehe. actually, i dont wanna study luh. i just wanna go to school :D choir & music project is turning out great!

err, i want nadhirah to get a boyf. haha, ideekay, random. but seriously sia. cause whenever i wanna go out with awi, she feels kinda left out & i feel bad. so, umm, that kid might be fated with her. so, good luck yeah. tell me when you two starts dating :D haha, lol.

uhh, i think that im being unfair to everyone. ideekay. especially him, haish. life keeps getting in the way. im sorry for not spending time with you, honey. seriously. umm, im sorry about the fights that i have started.. but i'll love you no matter what.

i just dont understand people. why do they want us to fall apart? why? haish. sometimes, i just give up sia. but when i think about it, i cant just give this all up. i just dont understand what they want from me! >.<" why dont you people just get a life? stop bothering about mine! =.=

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ his ]
ps, dont give up, i wont give up on you.
i've been loyal without having something to prove.
im not a killer, im just killing your doubts.
dont you know that i'll be here forever.
even if you leave.

well hello'hello! :D hmm, my left middle finger very pain. haishh, mardhiah help me pull the skin, thanks yaw. but pain leh. umm, okay, lemmie talk bout today yaw.

so, umm, went out at around 11am to meet nadhirah at inter. lambat setapak uh, lagi siket boleh umpe sayangku ): aww, dang it. haish. but it's okay, listen to the story. & then. took bus number 65. stupid me, didnt bring ezlink. paiseh sia! luckily, brought 55cents sia. then put in money. the bus driver alr move when i havent put it money siah. stupid! so, nehmind. umm, * trying to recall what happened * ohh, emo in bus. people stare siah. kaypoh !

dropped off at inter, like duh. then met nadhirah. & then met mardhiah. & then did the plannings. i love the blueberry water sia! thanks mardhiah. haha, tried to act out. im still trying. haha, so, umm, went to changi beach after that.

acted out at changi beach shores. i should try to keep myself quiet while acting siah. haha, funny uh. okay, umm, eew, dead fishes. eeeeew.

went to inter back at around 5? took 29, super scared that it would take us super long time to inter. haha, was quite quiet in the bus. made me feel damn sleepy. so, umm, nadhirah met her mum. while i, walk home. & da emo'emo, awi kejar me xD haha, yay! i miss you. went home with him (: i love you very much.

so, umm, i decided to send awi home instead xD met syakirin's sister & iqbaal & afiq. whee, so, umm, sent awi to lift jer xD & the rest tkya explain kay? * blush * xD

umm, that's all, i guess. takecare guys. thanks for listening to story,

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ parachute ]
ps, i dont need no parachute, baby,
when i've got you.

ps ps, dear, its not you!

hey guys, im back again. to tell about today's great but inside-im-dying trip. well yeah, haha, me & nadhirah. we went to WOODLANDS. i know, we're crap xD haha. we did have a great trip. but i was not in my right-self yeah. so, umm, but i was still crazy, cause i wont be emo with my bestfriend. ummm, & then, reached there at about 1pm? hehe, yeah crap. we went arounf causeway point finding a place to eat. yeah, lost peeps xD tampines sec at woodlands, wow. i was kinda hoping to meet Dani though. cause i want Nadhirah to meet him xD but we didnt, so, heck care, haha.

so ummmmm, we ate at Long John Silver, good fish xD haha. so, at Long John, Nadhirah kinda emo, talk about personal stuffs. kinda feel bad for her though, but, life has to go on. must be cheery. try to not show your tears in front of people, or your sadness. umm, & then head to my house around, 3 right? haha. & then umm, went to Tagged. Nadhirah put herself as #1 xD crazy but kekek. hahah, sanggup xD

yeah, laughed alot. but wasnt feeling kinda great, inside. but i did have fun. with Nadhirah :D hmmm, so at around 6, Nadhirah went home. sent her halfway. then emo ontheway back home. kept on thinking, & thinking. just forgive & forget :D urmm, so then, tmr have music project. hmm, at Changi Beach maybe. hahah, confirm gerek xD i hope it turns out fine, though. i hope Ming Liang comes. haha, he's the only guy-hope, haha.

so umm, my mum also come in already. so i got to go luh. like duh. parents >.< well, you know what i mean right? hais, they wont understand you.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ whee ]
ps, they wanna see us fall,
but i wont fall out of love.
& i hope you wont, either.

hey! how are you people? hope you people are feeling great. okay, about me, well, heck care. my throat hurts like hell sia. umm, not because of singing. it's cause of i bit my inside tongue, which leads down to my throat. cried like crazy cause it was so painful.

so, umm, about Awi, umm, im sorry okay. i shouldnt have acted like i did. i wont ever hate you. i just wasnt in my right self. i was stupid. i ignored you. i felt so idiotic after ignoring you. & then i waited for you to online. glad you did. im really very sorry for have ignored you. i was quite sad when you replied in a way, which you have never ever did. gah, maybe i was wrong for, trying to pick a fight. oh boy, these nights are dull, i wish that i could spend them with you. im looking at this wall, repeating " Boy, i love you. "

& now im scared to move, dont listen to a word i tell you. just take me by my hand, i swear, i will make this up to you. now i really have to fix everything.. but baby, there's so much & so little time to, replace the tears i've made you cry, the times i left you alone. oh come on, boy, there's so much to say..

oh, do you know? how it feels to see your face, whenever i close my eyes? bet you know, how it feels to be the only thing that ever matters now.

if you're asking me if i need you,
the answer is, forever.
if you're asking me if i'll leave you,
the answer is never.
if you're asking me what i value,
the answer is you.
if you're asking me if i love you,
the answer is " I do ".

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ forever&always ]
ps, you can say that you dont miss me,
but i think about you everyday.

well helooooooo! haha, had a very great time with cousins.
they were super duper cute!
slept over at my house xD
at around 12.30pm just now they went home..
before they went home,
i asked them to kiss me xD
haha they did sia! so cute.
obviously, they are just kids luh >.<
hahah, seriously. Ashraf & Amsyar! woots ~
haha i like ashraf more cause he's younger and cuter xD
the quiet type. haha.
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo then, did nth much.
switched on the laptop & used it >.<
then honey online ! :D yay! honey went to zoo?
haha xD kekek >.<
hmmmm, it's just so confusing uh.
my mum makes it confusing. haish,
but let this just be me & honey's secret.
dont tell anyone tau honey. about my mum stuff >.<
but we'll survive (:

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ bored ]

Oh well hello! Haha. I wanna say about yesterday!
Hahaha. Well, from morning okay?
So, hold on tight to your mouse xD
Soooooooo, woke up around 9.30am
after being shouted by my mum xD
Went to the wet market.
To buy fish & met Grandnma and Auntie.
And cousins who were super duper sombong grrr.
Hahaha, actually ther were in bad mood,
being waken up in the early morning xD
So, went home after buying fish.
Went out to WOODLANDS at around 2pm~
Woots! Emo in the bus.
Ibu go sit somewhere far from me >.<''
then i hear songs using earpiece.
Then alot of lightnings. scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary!
One was super duper near sia! Almost struck a tree!
& then went down.
Went to eat at Banquet! woots!
& then went to library.
was irritated that i couldnt get access to the internet grrrrr.
so, webcam-ed.
& that was when i met...
DANI! he was the one who tegur me.
he was like " best eh webcam sorang2? "
then i switched off the whole thing. hahaha.
i was like, errr?
he said " tk kenal i? dani lerr "
i was...... omg, ohkaaaaaaay... hahaha best gak uh webcam.
he said " okay. cool. haha. u are still the crazy dayah. "
i said, hhaa, yeah. dayah per.
then he checked his watch and then said he got to go.
then i said, oh okay. bye
he did a stupid handshake with me >.<
and then said, " okay, takecare tau, i love you, as a close friend. haha "
i just said hahah okay, byebye takecare too.
then he rushed off.
gah. hahhaa. paiseh sey, was webcaming alone seeeeeehh..
then after that, i switched on the webcam back and webcam-ed >.<
ahahahha, around 5.30,
went home.
on the way to the interchange,
heard my name being called.
looked back & met rizal & family >.<
so chit chatted awhile & then went home with them >.<
had to sit beside rizal in the bus. =.=!
ugh, rizal cakap banyak. cam nk plaster mulut diyerh >.<
sooo, i put on the earpiece.
he snatched one side and put it on >.<''
grrr. then he started singing. paiseh sia.
people were staring.
then i msg honey :D
hahaha, honey crazy.
ran away from home.
i was angry at him actually xD
but then honey went home,
so, i was happy :D
hahhahahhahahhaha,
luckily, i had to go home with my mum.
if not, i would have to follow rizal go bedok >.<
:D so, went home & webcam-ed with nad xD
but i couldnt see her.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
so, thats all about yest.
:D i love my honeyy :D
okay, byebye.

DOTDOTDOT ;
DAYAH [hamster]
xD

ahhh, idk whats wrong with me nowadays..
idk how to even explain about me..
haish. i feel so sleepy everyday.
even if i sleep early >.<
& then i get emo whenever im at home..
i hear emo songs and then feel very sad about myself >.<
idk whats wrong with me!!
arghh! i dont know how to explain.
im just not my usual self..
im not that hyper-self. whats troubling me?
i dont even know...............
im weird, yes. i feel so irritated by myself!
i only get happy when im out with nad or awi.
like.. with other people, i dont click.
hais. maybe because people are not sincere with being friends with me.
maybe they just want the fame =.=
maybe they just dont want to lose a somebody who is always there.
maybe they just dont want to be alone!
using me is such a good idea. wow.
other than those stuffs,
idk what's been bugging me.
i will try very hard to be hyper again.
i want to be my usual DAYAH.
tthe one that will always be hyper.
but i WILL still smile,
no matter what happens.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ whatswrongwithme?? ]
p/s : sick of crying, tired of trying. yeah, im smiling but inside im dying.
i love that quote.

hey people! :D
im still very very very angry at the nyonya!!!
urgh. stupid. haish..
so, we were ontheway to inter.
saw the nyonya shouting for a pen.
she tried to stop nad and me to lend a pen.
then nad just walk off uh..
i was kinda kind to stop and say i dun have..
cause she was desperately shouting at me for a pen..
then i say dun have...
then she say,
" dun have pen? uh go DIE lah! "
wtfffffffffffffffffffff! i was pissed off sia.
but justin bieber made me feel kinda okay..
with his voice xD
so, me & nad were discussing about the nyonya otw to bedok xD
then at bedok, we were so hyped-up xD
hahahaha we were crazeyyy! haha
& soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
took 38 bback to inter and took 69 home >.<
we were wasting time hehe.
& theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen,
went home. called nadhirah after bathing
& named ourselves " giler " nad " tebiat "
hey guys! im tebiat! :D
and nad's giler! xD
woots! it was because we said it at the same time.
hahahah i said giler to nadhirah.
and nadhirah said tebiat to me hahahahah.
soooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
that's all for today.
i miss my honey so much,
although we just met yesterday..
haish.. sooooo,
buhbye guys.

DOTDOTDOT;
DAYAH [ me ]
p/s : i love you :D