It sometimes sucks having a thing with someone so attractive. Sure, they’re yours. But there’s always people flirting with them. Someone who wants to get in between you two. And that’s when the jealousy and insecurity comes in. You don’t feel worth having them. You get jealous of every single person that talks to them. You just feel like shit.

Hi, my name is Hidayah Rahim♥ Haha. Changed my name at FACEBOOOOOOK! Haha, so I'm here to talk about the past 3 days of my life. Or 2. Im not sure xD Hahahha.

Friday.
I went to watch movie with Helmy. Watched Harry Potter Part2. Haha, at E!hub! Ohyeaah. Then uhm, met Nadhirah :p And Filza. Hahaha, wah, walletku sungguh tebal, baru dapat duit jajan! :D Hahahaa. Awesome uh. Ohkay tu out of topic :p Haha. So, after the movie, he gave me the thing that he bought for me when he went to KL. Hehehe. Appreciate it much.

Balik terus hancur sia harapan for it to be a great day. Balik, obviously aku ngantuk giler uh kan. Biler pat dalam wayang pun aku dah ngantuk nak mampus. I think because of my sleepiness I didn't concentrate on the moive and I find it quite boring and prefers part 1 instead, which I watched twice :p Hahaha. So.... Balik, aku mandi then pakai comp sume then baring uh kat sofa. Ngantuk sangat, aku tertdo. Beh mak aku jerit kat aku. Padahal I have been listening to her dari pagi sia. Before I went out with Helmy, my mum asked me to buy benda sume. Padahal I was running late. Still, tknk chaotic, aku pergi belikan. Beh terlupa barang, kene jerit beh kene turun beli lagi. Aku kat situ dah macam, wtf. Ahhhhhhh, malas uh nk bebual. But what I know is that, that night, was the night I cried like hell. I've never cried like that before. I guess, it's because I have kept everything in me after all this while. Not because of the beatings from you, mum. I felt numb. I couldn't even feel that you've hit me.

Saturday.
Which is semalam. Went for family's bbq! Haha, it got rid of my sadness. Ohyeah. Had so much fun. I was so rapat to my relatives. I think it's the best outing ever. I cooked uh seh! :D Haha. Awesome like hell. Tapi balik terus bau macam marinated bbq chicken xD Hahahah!

Okay tu je uh.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM♥

Hi, aku tgh tk puas hati ngan budak2 na/nt level aku. The case was settled, kau pe hal tk bilang kau punye class?! Sial uh, nak suruh kitorang gadoh pe sia? Dah ckp sorry pe kan? Abeh yang pasal budak tu nak datang class kite esok pe hal sia? Nak tunjuk taiko pe sia? Depan cikgu, kecut. Kalau kau banyak peh taiko, depan cikgu pun tkkan goyang luh sia! Get a life. Kalau pun kite cakap korang bodoh, beh korang rase korang tk bodoh, korang terase apehal? Just let the matter go uh. Kau nak ape sia? The whole school to be looking down on 2E1 pe sia? Isn't that already happening? The case was settled kan! Kau nak DM marah kau lagi? Nak kene suspend beh kene expel? No life pe? Lagilagi, korang tkde bukti pe. Chill uhs, korang sengaje eh nk buat stream riots on racial harmony day? :p haha. Okay, since aku tkde kene mengene sangat, aku cool je. Haha.

So anw, esok aku tktawu kalau nak kelua ngan Helmy ke tak.): Takut :p haha. Beh Ridhuan lagi tk bagi kalau sorang2 je kelua ngan diyerh. hehe.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Second update.

I'm the type of girl who have the tendency to stay up all night listening to music that reminds me of my current situation. Who hide their fears, hurt, pain and tears under their smiles and laughs all on a daily basis. The girls who wear their hearts on their sleeve. The girls who pray things will workout just once and they’ll be satisfied. The girls who scream and cry into their pillows because the rest of the world fails to listen. The girls who have it hard but don’t let anyone know that. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who have so many secrets but will never tell a soul. The girls who have regrets and mistakes as a daily moral. The girls who don’t always win, who may never win. The girls who get what they get and don’t throw a fit. The girls who take life as it comes, hoping it’ll get easier somewhere down the road. The girls who love with all their hearts but always get broken. This is me. I'm not perfect and may never be. I have too much things on my mind. But I don't tell anyone. I keep things to myself. I wish someone could just be here for me, when I need someone. I just need to let out my feelings to someone but I don't think anyone wants to listen. And so, all I can do is, keep everything to myself. And I'm sick of it. I need to let go.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Hey, lame aku tak update eh :p Haha, so here I am(: Esok Racial Harmony Day! Hehe, I'm gonna wear PURPLEEEEE! :D Haha. LUUUUUUUUUUUUL. My mum and bro loves my cooking. LOL SIA. Epic. Dah luh salty xD Hahahahah.

Okay, time to be serious. Aku rase sedih kat kawan aku yang cita-citanya tk tersampai /: But nak buat macam mane kan. /: Chill yeah.. Okay, aku bebual kat sini pun bukannye diyerh buleh bace. Dayah, dayah -.-

I miss being called 'Dayah'. Haha 'cause I text people who calls me 'Ida' instead ): Haha. Please call me 'Dayah' or 'Hidayah' :p hahaha. Okay dah.

And remember, behind every girl's smile.. Lies her teeth. Okaydahthxbai.

-HIDAYAHRAHIM

Hi! How wow you? Haha. Kay lame like fuck. Hi. I am Hidayah. I'm going to get braces soon, for my ugly teeth. Yes, I have a lot of flaws. But who are you to judge me? Yes, I have poor eyesights. I'm going for Lasic when I'm older. Yes, I'm fat. But I'm trying my best to slim down. Yes, I don't have nice skin texture 'cause I'm starting to have pimples. But it's gonna get better when my hormones stop changing. Yes, I'm slow in learning. But I try my best. Yes, I'm not my old self anymore. People change. I'm not who I used to be. I hate myself. I just have too many flaws. I'm fugly. I'm not someone whom you would want to be around with. I'm not famous. I'm just plain jane. Someone ordinary. Please accept me as I am.

Hi! I have nothing to do. So, gonna update. Haha, been doing push-ups lately :p And skrg, cramp nak mampos. Haha, macam budak bodoh but the effort paid off 'cause tadi biler jumpe Ridhuan♥, he poked my arm and then kate 'B, sapau pe you?' Haha, I was like, wtff? Haha. Cute sia, I can't believe he's mine.

So, today actually, Nad♥♥ ajak kelua. So did Ridhuan♥. I was like, kalau kelua ngan Ridhuan♥ nanti Nad♥♥ kate lupe member pe. Haha, but then, I went out with Ridhuan♥ after that, met Nad♥♥. Banyak pe hearts :p Haha. So, went to meet Ridhuan♥ and did homework together which was only me doing my homework. Haha, then he helped me do my art. He was like, 'B, bunga mane ade straight camni? Bunga kan banyak curves.' Haha, tawu je. Tskk. Then Luqman came and then okay uh 'cause he isnt sombong anymore uh, which was my first impression of him :p Haha. So yeah♥

After which, went to meet Naddy♥♥ Hehehe. Went to popular and bought pennnnns!♥ Haha, was super bechok just now, I had no idea why. Macam retard sia aku. Tskk. So yeah, after that, went to BEDOK! Ate hot fudge and then took home Fillet 'o fish meal for my mum♥♥♥ Hehe. Had so much fun with Naddy♥♥ Haha. Thanks for making my day awesome, bestie! Also, not forgetting, my boyfriend!<3

-Ida Marley♥
11 more days!

Hi. I'm thankful to you, Mum, and Dad. Thanks for raising me up. Thankyou for trying your bestest to help me survive. I know, life was very hard, we had to try and find food by the roadside, go to the back of NTUC fairprices to see if it was our luck to find some leftover tin food that was about to expire, being looked down on, being kicked around as no one wanted us and many other cruel stuffs. I promise to work hard. Really, I will. I'm trying my best. I will show to them all that we are worthy and not useless.

Abang, please, it's not that I hate that girl. I didn't but after what she is doing to you now, seriously, I don't think she's worth it. Since you got to know her, what are we, mum, dad and me, to you? Okay, to put it shortly, if I and her was in trouble, who would you save? I bet it would be her. I miss you, damn it. Please.. I hate her for this. It's not that I'm jealous. I'm not. I just hate what she's doing to you..

Nothing else to say.. Going jogging tmr, maybe. Seeya.
-Ida Marley.

Hello, I'm so freakin' sleepy. Just got home from spending time with honeybunny♥ whom helped me with my project. Haha, thanks sayang♥ Appreciated much. I still hate that girl please): So spoilt. Haha. Baby♥ so cute sia, talk so much. Then tkde benda nk buat, bongkar laptop. Even Filza's thumbdrive :p We were hoping to find some interesting stuffs but we didn't.): Haha, so yeah. Lepas tu, dah tkde pape nak buat, bebual je. Which is mostly done by him. Which some words is like gangster-like so I tak paham tapi step paham. Haha, seriously. He calls me 'bhy' which I'm so not familliar with. But cute uh♥ I can't believe he just crushed my CODY SIMPSON picture in my wallet and threw it on the floor! Pfft abeh on lagu superbass. I hate it when he grips my hand. So tight): Jahat sia. Haha, okay I'm so sleepy): Maybe gonna sleep early soon. Sorry lambat post eh. Busy): My internet just started working, so yeah. And now the laptop batt's running out. So, till tomorrow! I'll update on weekends(:

-Ida Marley♥ Gonna change my name soon. Love you!
13 more days♥